Hi I’m Yvonne but you’d be forgiven for knowing me as Lewis’ and Joy’s mum or even Steve’s wife. I am all of those things too but firstly I’m Yvonne. I love long hot baths, reading and dancing in the living room with my husband to 90s dance. Im sarcastic to a fault, Im obsessed with beauty products and you won’t catch me wearing a mama jumper. I’m a proud mother and wife but I refuse to be defined by my children or marital status.
After Lewis (my first) I made the mistake a lot of us do. I thought becoming a mother should change me so when I the urge to skip through a meadow singing the sound of music didn’t take me I really thought I’d failed. The urge to have a social life took me and that made me feel even worse. I forced myself to baby signing, baby reflexology and fucking baby shiatsu (honestly that’s a thing ) in a desperate bid to become more like the Julie Andrews character I thought I should be.
It took time and good advice to realise that wasn’t how it had to be. Once I finally allowed myself to see that I was so relieved. Lewis was relieved too as his Mum was now back firmly in her comfort zone and he didn’t have to attend 18 ridiculous classes a week.
I think we’re all guilty of it but we need to take time to remember who we are. I love my children and I take them to classes I think will benefit them and not bore me to tears but I also have a life of my own. I existed before them and once they’ve flown the nest *sobs* I will continue to exist. I know all the nursery rhymes but also I can drink 5 Sambuca shots and recreate the whole video for single ladies- albeit badly.
I’m not offended when people introduce me as a mum or wife. I do it too. On a recent (rare) drink with some friends I introduced my friend as ‘Archies Mum’ and instandly thought shit! She’s not JUST Archies Mum. She’s Jackie. She loves make up, wine and singing Proud Mary. She’s a person too. In her own right and she deserves to be introduced as one.
So what was my point here? Don’t feel guilty for still being who you were before your children. There’s no doubt having children changes you but we are still entitled some escapism once in a while. Get drunk now and again and have sex on the kitchen floor. Whatever works for you! Never apologise for that. Remember who you are and introduce your friends by their name.