Tag: babygirl

Try not to be a dick 

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Once upon a time I was a dick. I didn’t mean to be. Dick is maybe not right…. delusional is probably fairer. 7 years ago I had a baby. Baby Lewis. He was a happy little thing, ate well and slept through the night from about 6 weeks. That actually is a thing. Who knew?

I can almost guarantee a few people already hate me at this point. I don’t blame you really. I wasn’t smug but admittedly I took the credit. He was a good boy and I was clearly born to parent the shit out of life. As soon as I wrote that I realise how fucking smug that actually make me sound. Sorry! Never once did I look down my nose at people who had non sleeping, unsettled babies. I may have been delusional but I’ve never been THAT person.

I suppose I just didn’t really think in all honesty. When you have a child you know your child and their ways and quirks. Other children didn’t really come into it.

When Steve and I decided to try for a baby 6 years later I still didn’t really think. “you never get two the same”. Many an old dear told me but I didn’t really take it in. Who wants two the same anyway? I want my kids to be their own people!

Along came Joy. Our beautiful, sassy Joy. 6 weeks in and she didn’t sleep. Obviously I wasn’t worried as I knew Lewis was in the minority. Fast forward a year and I was starting to realise that sleeping all night wasn’t really Joys thing. That was quite hard for me to accept. It’s easy to think you’ve failed as a parent, especially when you’ve had a ‘textbook’ child first. 16 months in and I know I haven’t failed. Joys thriving, she’s smart, funny and she sure knows her own mind. What more could I ask for? Actually a full nights sleep would be nice but let’s not push it eh?

Joy suffered with colic and reflux. She didn’t settle without a boob in her mouth for 5 months. She was a screamer and we’ve never left her to scream. Judge away! Lewis would wimper for a few minutes at bed then drift off. Joy could scream herself into projectile vomit and that’s just not something I’m willing to let happen.

We co-sleep (mostly) and Joys a complete Mummys girl. Many a time I’ve cooked the dinner with her in the sling and she gets stroked to sleep like the Lady of the manor. That’s what works for her- and us and that’s what we’ll continue to do.

If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard the old “rod for your own back” I wouldn’t need to do a lotto. Funnily enough it mostly comes from people with no children or people who had theirs when dinosaurs still roamed the earth.

I adore both my kids. I don’t always like them but I love them immensely- and equally! They’ve taught me everything I know about parenting and now I know just how different they can be. I’m not a dick anymore and I’m certainly not delusional. You get what you’re given and you love them regardless.

Once you’re an adult no one gives a shit about how much you sleep so I’m not sure why we put so much pressure on babies.

If you’re reading this and you have a Lewis please don’t panic. This isn’t to put anyone off. They are all worth it. I promise! If anything this is to let all the parents with the non sleeping, non settling kids know that they are brilliant. It’s not a reflection on us and we can sleep when we’re dead right? 😉

Yvonne x

Dear Rose… 

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Dear Rose,

I bet you have to think before you even remember me but I often think of you. I don’t think you would have forgotten me although I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You probably see people like me every day. 

You were my health visitor and I was a naive 24 year old with not an ounce of common sense. 

I planned a baby with someone I thought I knew. I really didn’t but the less said about him the better. For the sake of my son. 

So I found myself 24, pregnant and very much alone. That wasn’t my plan. I was angry at that fact for so long. I didn’t want to be that person. Who does? 

You showed me that ‘that person’ could be anyone. Most of all you believed in me when I had zero faith I could make this sorry situation work. You gave me strength and never once looked down at me- and so many others did. 

You made sure I didn’t just make the situation work I fucking rocked it and you made sure I knew I did. Little comments of praise and texts here and there. They were the small things I really needed and I could tell you meant it all.

I genuinly believe there are some truly great people in the world. I’m not talking the Kardashians and all these other ridiculous people were constantly confronted with. Proper role models who make a difference to people’s lives day after day. People like you.

I was at my lowest ebb when I had Lewis. I hid it well as I always do but you saw through that. You supported me through it all like the guardian Angel I needed and you gave me the confidence to continue alone. 

When I moved house I got a new health visitor. I felt a bit sad to be leaving you but by this point I’d met Steve (my now husband) and we were ready to plan another baby. I text you to tell you and as predicted I got the loveliest response. 

My health visitor with Joy is nice. I see so little of her but she seems lovely. I don’t really need her and I just hope she’s spending her time with the people who do need her. Like you did with me. I do hope you guys realise the impact you have on our lives. 

I don’t think I ever got to properly thank you but I hope you know how much I appreciated everything you did for me and I have no doubt that you’re still making a difference to others. You rock Rose! 

Thank you! 

Yvonne (and Lewis) x 

Mothering without a mother 

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Recently I’ve seen an influx of Facebook posts about always loving your mother as you never get another. Even when you dont see eye to eye. This may be very true but for some sadly it isn’t this black and white. 

My Mum isn’t dead. Not my biological one anyway. My Nan raised me and she was my ‘real’ Mum and sadly she’s no longer with us. My Biological Mum isn’t part of my life however and won’t ever be. 

I won’t go into it as I have no urge to publicly slate her and have younger siblings I wouldn’t want to hurt. 

She hasn’t met Joy and hasn’t seen Lewis in years. It isn’t a fallout or an argument situation but for the sake of my mental health she will remain an outsider. I wish her well. 

Do I love her? Yes! Am I sad I don’t have a mother around? Of course! This really is the best decision all round and I’ve made peace with that. That has taken a long time but I really have made peace with it. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t get a pang of upset when I see friends Mum’s coo over their gorgeous grandchildren. Or when I’m ill and I could really use a cuddle. You’re really never too old to want your Mum at times. 

I do love it when I see my friends with good relationships with their Mums. Over the years a few of them have played a Mum role to me and that’s helped me build a picture of the type of mother I want to be. 

Having Joy was bittersweet. My Nan died when I was pregnant and to not have a mother to show of my baby too… bloody hurt. I still look at my kids and think ‘wow! I made this!’ I just wish I had my Nan here to gush to at times. 

I’m fiercely independent and this is probably why. It’s a defence mechanism. I’ve not always had the choice. I’ve just had to crack on with it. 

The one good thing to come from the situation is my relationship with my children. I’ll always put them first, do my best to never let them down and love them with every part of me. 

I have a great support network and I’m so grateful. My Auntie Helen, my siblings, my friends, my cousins, my mother in law and obviously my husband. Having a big family does have its perks- sometimes! 

I’m not angry or sad at these Facebook posts. It’s a copy and paste type thing and people are more than entitled to celebrate anyone in their life that they wish. So long as we’re mindful it isn’t the same for everyone. I hope one day my kids can celebrate me in that way. Maybe even throw in a wee afternoon tea. 

If you have your Mum in your life then give her a kiss from me. This mothering lark isn’t easy but a kiss from your child always helps. 

Yvonne x 

 

recent baby binge

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How cute is next Spring/Summer range? I couldn’t resist a few of these. Having a boy I’m so used to Blue and dinosaur everything. There is so little choice for boys. So having a girl this time has been a novelty- and very expensive. It’s so hard to resist all the frilly, pink, floral things.

With such a gap I totally forget how much I need.Sleepsuits, vests, actual clothes etc. I’m not going mad with newborn as L was in it for about 2 weeks and I love them in sleepsuits all day. They are tiny for such a short time it’s just nice to let them be tiny and comfortable.

I’ve been told the new baby will be really big although I’m taking that with a pinch of salt since I was told the same with L and he was 7 4.5lbs 5 days late. She’ll be what she’ll be as I’m sure if I don’t have enough I can send my husband to the shop with a list. I’m having an elective caesarean at around 39 weeks so she will be a bit earlier than her brother.

I didn’t need any of my recent purchases, except the sleepsuits but how could I not buy them? So sweet. I love next stuff.  it’s easy to wash and dry and the sleepsuits have built in mits which are a saviour for baby who scratch themselves. £16 for 3 sleepsuits isn’t bad going at all and I found cheaper ones are a false economy as the are thin and don’t wash well at all.

My husband picked the frilly white dress surprisingly. Hes loving the idea of a Daddy’s girl so needless to say he also picked the Daddy and me sleepsuit. He does have pretty good taste- obviously as he married me.

The tops and leggings mix and match so I thought that was good value and the soft colours are just lovely. You can never have enough leggings eh? Let’s hope we get some sun so the dresses can be worn with just some frilly socks. We can dream eh?

If anyone has any tips on how much is enough please let me know… as otherwise I’ll just keep buying and will have no money for champagne after the baby is born.

Mrs S (Yvonne) x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome

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Welcome and please be patient. This is a work in progress.

Hello ladies- and perhaps gents. I’m Mrs S and this is my first, no doubt poor attempt at a blog. I decided to write some of my (hormonal) ramblings as I fear I’m boring my non mumsy friends. Also the recent lack of alcohol has left me a worrying amount of free time. Once the baby comes along this will have to be rectified.

Anyway a quick introduction: I’m 30, been married almost a year. Very happily- although my husband may disagree at times.  Due baby no. 2 in 8 weeks… not that I’m counting and already have a 6 year old boy (from a previous disastrous relationship). My husband is the only father our son knows so he is Dad in everything except biology and our Son L is a happy well rounded little soul.

I’m not a mumsy mum at all really. My son isn’t perfect. I’m not perfect. We’re both dicks at times. As is my husband, but we’re only human and I can’t stand people who create the perfect persona for the purpose of social media. I swear, I get drunk- when not pregnant and I make mistakes. I’m here in support of all the other mums who can be dicks and get things wrong. While pregnant it’s pretty much going to be all pregnancy related stuff on here and as soon as the baby is born drunken ramblings will resume once again… Hopefully.

We both work full time and I don’t do well with too much time on my hands so this is an attempt to keep me busy on Mat leave. I’m a busy bee and I’m hoping  (stupidly probably) the new girl will allow me time to blog when she comes. I’m a mum but mostly I’m a woman and I like to eat, drink and do other non mum stuff. When pregnant I always find its hard to remember you were fun before as it does tend to consume your whole life. I certainly do not enjoy being pregnant. Does anyone really? I miss not being bloated and swollen and not worrying about falling over stupidly.

Slightly daunted AKA shitting myself by the prospect of a new baby as it’s been a while for me and I was alone with my son so having a helper will be odd, but nice. I’m a total control freak though so it may take some getting used to.

I use Instagram a lot so I’m creating a new profile for the purposes of this blog. please feel free to share both and any ideas, hints, tips and constructive criticisms are welcome.

Mrs S x